*sigh*

I still wonder why i have no friends at this school.

It's not like I am really that shy...ok, i am a bit shy. But that "bit" is usually towards strangers; I tend to open up considerably with people I know.

Part of it is fear= I kinda dont want friends because it will make graduation harder. If I make good friends, it will be painful to leave them.

Part of it is all mental= I don't associate fun with this new school. Therefore, I really never thought of making friends over here. Like...i feel lost when i have free time after school. I've almost forgot how to just relax and have fun.

Then, part of it is an unwillingness to complete 'the circle'. 'The circle' is a concept of friendship and relationships- one person starts drawing a circle when they meet you. In order to complete it the shape, you need to finish drawing it. If you think about it, it's not out of the question to be friends with every person that crosses your path if you finish the circle. Say there is a new employee and they greet you with a standard 'hello, i'm new here.' You can complete the shape and say "Hi, nice to meet you." or you could complete the circle and say "Hello my name is so ando so, what is yours? Let me show you around. Did you just move here?" etc. The long route is finishing the circle, the easy route is just responding to the question. I've tended to not complete the circle on most occasions.

Also, the people I have met aren't too sociable. Ok, not their falt, but mine for not trying to find more people.

The last part is the way they percieve me. I appear shy most of the time, closed, etc. Not particularly open. So, i think i'll attempt to change it a bit. When i was around friends, I tended to open up and let my creative side take over...so, I may try using that mask for a few days. In the end, i am afraid that most kids in my classes just aren't that sociable.

And yeah, i tend to not complete the circle.

Wow..an hour to wake up. phew!